The Loremaster Takes on Lore
by Falerin

It would appear I selected a Terran culinary codex from my library last issue. This is perhaps a good thing as it would appear that the only other similar content in that issue advocates the consumption of sentient creatures. Clearly, I do not and cannot advocate such though, to be honest, the instructions presented almost made it tempting. I think perhaps if I substituted the ribs of an Andogorian Talrog I would be a bit on the safer side.

 

My own selected recipe called for a garnish of maraschino cherries. My finding is that these absolutely make the dish. Maraschino cherries are a brined fruit product that has become ubiquitous in some Terran cuisines at the dessert course but they are occasionally found in other applications. Darkovian Begleberries cured in sugar or Augerthorne Sapcherries in a light syrup make an acceptable Lorian approximation.

 

I digress. Herein is my second entry into this particular realm of Lorian discourse and it seems high time that I turn my attention to more pressing matters. The issue at hand, of course, is the state of the Lorian hospitality industry. Having visited several and various inns, hostels, hotels, and taverns I have come to the conclusion that the state of guest services on Lore is positively abysmal. Consider, if you will, the options on Battleonia.

 

Gibet’s pub was Lolosia’s inn. This fine establishment was rendered a pile of rubble even while guests were sleeping in it. I cannot really recommend any inn that disintegrates while the patron is within the inn. The stay at Lolosia since has been absolutely abysmal unless you like the rustic ruin look with a side of sea spray.

 

Yulgar’s inn is ostensibly the premier Inn for the town of Battleon. Unfortunately, Yulgar’s has consistent plumbing problems and rather a rather severe vermin infestation. Not only with rodents and the occasional exploding Trobble population, indeed no; the most severe vermin of all of Yulgar’s comes in the form of a Yellow Moglin who “mysteriously” apports into your room at the most inopportune times. Granted, I do not need to sleep and do such only as a concession to vanity and personal excess but the arrival of a Moglin on one's chest carrying a hot fudge and sardine sundae tends to wreck all chance of a positive review. Further, the Innkeeper proper has been, I am told, held for assault and battery, explaining somewhat his recent decision to take a backseat to familial interests.

 

Sadly, perhaps the single best lodging experience that can be had on Battleonia is available at Boog’s Tavern in Granemor. There are certain problems with undead and lycanthropes, but overall the service is clean, if a bit glum. One should be careful in what they order, as some things are more acceptable than others. The environment has a certain “gothic” charm and their Flametongue Stew is something to behold.

 

The original actually is known to cause patrons to breathe flame and given the damage to the mucosa of several patrons I cannot in good conscience give the recipe unaltered. A good Terran Tom Kha Gai, however, creates a delightful approximation without the added risk of bodily injury.

 

2 tablespoons oyster sauce

3c. coconut milk

2 cans reduced-sodium chicken broth

4 sprigs lemon grass root (two inch sprigs)

1/4 kefir lime peel, ground finely

Juice of 1 kefir lime

4 or more cloves garlic to taste

2 small red Thai chilies or 2 tbsp roasted chili paste

1 teaspoon galangal (fresh gingerroot may be substituted)

1/8 cup chopped cilantro

1 lb chopped boneless skinless chicken, cut into small cubes

1/3 cup half-and-half cream

In medium to large saucepan, bring to boil coconut milk, lime juice, lime peel, oyster sauce. Chop the remaining dry ingredients, excepting the chicken, finely in a food processor and add this to the pot. If using paste rather then chilies add to the pot at this time. Chop and boil the chicken pieces in the soup for around 5 minutes or until fully cooked. Add the half-and-half cream to the soup and stir constantly to avoid curdling for around three minutes.

 

Serve soup warm or hot.