About me:
I was raised a normal child... until the age of 4, when a hoard of fire-breathing dragons scorched my entire village. My family was killed, but not until after my brave Mother, an enchantress, cast a spell upon a ragged cloth which made it impervious to flame. With this she surrounded my small body as the dragons' incinerating breath engulfed our cottage. I lived. Despite evidence to the contrary, this was a worse day for the dragons than it was for me. For then and there was born the Order of Dragonslayers. I dedicated my entire life to becoming a fearsome weapon, traveling across the land of Lore slaying all dragons and their kin that I found. Anyone who had been a victim of a dragon became my ally. Some, the greatest warriors, joined my elite Order of Dragonslayers. Will YOU do the same? Will YOU join me in the never-ending battle to rid the world of these evil scaled engines of destruction?
"It's Not Easy Slaying Dragons"
Slaying dragons all day long is NOT fun and games, despite the extreme happiness I feel when I finally corner a fire-breathing beast and end its miserable life.
No, sometimes being a Dragonslayer is just plain old WORK.
I wake up at the crack of dawn. Have a caffeinated beverage. Maybe have a bite to eat (I like dragon eggs for breakfast-- they cook quickly, and hey, it's one less dragon to slay later on).
It takes me about 30 minutes to get my armor on, so every other night I just go to bed without taking it off. It's steel so it doesn't hold odor. Much.
Sharpening my Dragon Blade is the highlight of my morning routine. It really gets my blood pumping. I think it's the anticipation.
So by noon, I am out of the house and riding into the countryside. A few times a week some poor villager will come into town, pants smoldering, eyebrows singed, begging for me to defend a farm or village from dragons. These are the boring days. I know what to expect: I escort the person back to their home; they tell me their sob story; I go find the dragon's trail and track it back to its lair; and then, well, I slay it.
Most people would find this exciting. Invigorating. I don't know, but I often find myself nearly dying of boredom. Usually the dragon is sleeping in his cave after having gorged himself on cattle. Dragons don't put up much of a fight when they're not hungry, and less when they're sleeping.
Some days I accept the villagers' reward for slaying the dragon, some days I don't. This is really the only point at which I have much of a choice to make, so I like to change it up a bit.
The days that are actually FUN for me are when I don't have a CLUE what's coming. I just ride out of town with no set plan, no agenda, and keep on going until something, anything, happens. (I'm getting pumped up just writing about it!)
One time, at Dragonslayer training camp, a new recruit came up to me and asked *What is your favorite way to slay a dragon?*
I paused for dramatic effect, then spoke in my deepest voice (which reverberates inside my helmet causing the recruits to flinch):
"I like when a dragon ends up slaying itself when it panics and tries to escape, then gets lodged in the crook of a tree or forgets how to fly for a moment but still leaps off of a cliff."
Yes, being a Dragonslayer has its ups and downs, but some things make it all worthwhile.
