Ask the Evil Admin
by Beleqwaya

Article 2 - The First Response

 

Greetings to all the readers! This is Beleqwaya, the Evil Admin. Once a month I've decided to dedicate my boundless knowledge to satisfying some of your questions or queries. So listen up and you might learn something!

 

Well, I must say that I was quite disappointed with the overall quality of submissions I received. None truly tried to pry free the vast store of knowledge that I have contained within my mind! Nevertheless, I am undaunted as I stride forward with my purpose.

 

I had intended to put individual submissions in and then answer them but, due to the sheer number of occurrences of three subjects, I have decided to instead simply address them.

 

The first one is a misunderstanding on behalf of, well, everyone. I have had repeated questions asking what it is like to be a necromancer of great power. The answer to this is simple– I don't know. I am not, have never been, and will never be, associated with the undead. Specifically, the notion of having to deal with reanimated corpses has never been something that I have ever had even the slightest inclination to do. I prefer the corpses I make to stay dead.

 

Secondly, I received numerous questions wondering why I don't simply remove Zorbak from the picture if I find him so irritating. If you didn't follow, people wonder why I don't simply kill the squeaky mouse-thing. Once more, the answer to this query is simple. Paperwork. That's right. There is NO way I am going to deal with the HUGE stack of letters I am going to receive asking why I killed Zorbak. And then there is the hassle of replacing him! How many truly ebil creatures do you know that would be willing to be constantly exploited... err... hired for the number of things we use... ahem– employ Zorbak for!

 

And finally, we come to a more difficult point to address. People want me to prove that I am evil, or they are complaining that I don't look evil enough, or they are asking what it means to be evil, or why I am evil in particular. People, apparently, are quite entranced with evil...

 

Regardless, your answers are as such. I am evil by my own choice because I would not refer to myself as good. Should I require it, I will kill without hesitation, and rain terror on my enemies. I am merciless in my pursuit. However, I am not without kindness, nor am I simply an uncaring beast. Those that I hold as friends can depend on me, and I will generally help innocent people not embroiled in the current conflicts– although such aid may come at a price. However, should you incur my wrath you will wish you had never been born.

 

I have no desire, nor reason, to prove my intentions or position. I am evil simply because I say, and many do-gooders think therefore to pursue me to prevent my gaze from being turned on seizing power for myself. This is foolish– I desire no such rule and I have enough power of my own that I require no such short-sighted goals. Besides, if I tried to be an evil ruler my second in command would eventually succeed in knocking me off and taking power for himself. So it's a waste of my time.

 

Additionally, looks are deceiving. You are more likely to overlook someone who is dressed fine than a man dressed in dark and dangerous looking garb, although this effect is sometimes desired obviously, and so my looks should have no bearing on my true intentions.

 

Since I am running out of room and fear to incur the wrath of the editor, I shall leave you with these thoughts to mull over. Continue to send me submissions or I may turn my attention to the readers and gently inquire why I am not receiving good questions, comments, or queries.

 

~Beleqwaya Melamin